


Team Ranger

by Applepie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-02
Updated: 2011-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-11 14:00:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applepie/pseuds/Applepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Team Kakashi?" Naruto whined, "Why are we always Team Kakashi?" Naruto's tired of having the team named after his sensei, and wants a change. Kakashi really couldn't care less, and no one seems to ever listen to Sasuke. As for the enemy nin caught up in all of this... well, he always knew Konoha-nin were crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Team Ranger

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone remember Power Rangers? That was a hilarious show… All those dramatic entries and fireworks in the background, and those poses… or am I thinking about Saiyaman now… ?

Naruto and Sasuke were already standing by the Konoha Gates waiting for him when Kakashi arrived.

"Naruto, Sasuke," Kakashi greeted as soon as he saw them. They nodded at the Jounin, clearly bored of the mission, even though it had just barely begun. Kakashi took their dissatisfaction in stride. "Alright, Team Kakashi, let's move out," Kakashi said, leading the team out of the village.

They were barely down the road when there was the sound of shuffling behind him as one of his boys annoyingly dragged his feet. "Maa, anything the matter, Naruto?"

The boy's lips were jutted out. "Do we have to?" he sulked.

The Jounin raised an eyebrow at his words. "Have to what? Do the mission?" he asked incredulously, because since when did Naruto turn down missions?

"No, do we have to be called 'Team Kakashi'?" he whined. "What have you ever done for us?"

Kakashi gave an exasperated groan in response. _Of course this would happen..._

"Let's see now, I'm a Jounin, your teacher, and team leader. Anything else?"

"But I don't want to be called Team Kakashi," Naurto insisted.

"We've _always_ been Team Kakashi," Kakashi pointed out.

Naruto nodded. "Precisely. So it's time for a change," he declared, as if that was the most obvious reason for one.

Kakashi rolled his eye, but gave the comment thoughtful consideration nevertheless. "So what do you have in mind, then?" he finally asked, eyeing the blond cautiously.

In response, Naruto gave a large, pearly grin. "I thought you would never ask…"

Beside them, Sasuke groaned into his hands.

 

* * *

 

"Target sighted," Sasuke signaled. The enemy nin was resting on the trunk of a tree, deep in the forest. The team sped up, hopping along branches and weaving silently through leaves towards him in response.

Sasuke quickly reached for his kunai.

"Don't," Naruto interrupted. "That's not what we planned!" he cried, to deter the Uchiha from capturing the enemy already.

"Does it really matter, Dobe?"

Cerulean eyes glared at him. "Of course it does," Naruto retorted. The boy planted himself in front of the Uchiha, and gave him a disappointed look, hands on hips and all.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "This is a simple mission. It likely won't take more than ten minutes to subdue the man. Can we just get this over with?" he sighed, annoyance rolling off his tone.

The blond only frowned back. "Don't get mad at _me._ It's not my fault Kakashi's making us do simple C-ranks."

"You're both _still_ Genins," Kakashi replied from somewhere overhead.

"Because the next Chunin exams are like _months_ away."

"Have patience."

"And Sakura's not even here!" Naruto continued, ignoring him.

"She's a Chunin."

"And our team name sucked."

"I let you change it, remember?"

Naruto glared at the man. " _Kakashi-sensei!_ Can't you just let me complain?"

"We have a mission to do," Kakashi uttered blandly.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I know! But Sasuke won't cooperate. What was the point of changing the team name if he doesn't cooperate?"

"Then don't change it," Sasuke hissed.

"What, you _want_ to be called 'Team Kakashi'?"

The Uchiha threw his hands in the air. "Does it really matter? Get this stupid mission over with already. I have better things to do."

"Shut up!" Naruto cried, "It so _does_ matter." He turned towards Kakashi. "Sensei," he all but whined, "you said I could change it, but Sasuke's not listening. We can't finish the mission because of him."

There was a groan and a sigh before the silver-haired jounin waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah," the man murmured. "Sasuke, just listen to Naruto and hopefully this won't take all day."

The blond cheered, grin splitting his face at the confirmation that their teacher was on his side. "Com'on, show time!" he sang. With only slight hesitation, the three of them eventually descended in front of their target. "Just like how we practiced!" Naruto cheered.

Naruto landed first, striking a pose. "Like the burning sun, with the fiery strength of the pillar of support, it is I, Yellow Ranger, Naruto Uzumaki."

Kakashi leaped beside the blond, one hand held up to the sky lazily. His face was dispassionate as ever as he stared with his usual half-closed eye. "All-seeing, all-knowing; the epitome of romance. The great, the handsome, Silver Ranger, Kakashi Hatake," the man said dully.

"Epitome of romance, my ass," Sasuke muttered under his breath, strolling up to the two.

"Sasuke, your turn," Naruto hissed.

The Uchiha rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." He paused in thought, crossing his arms. "Um… I'm the strongest. Black Ranger, Sasuke Uchiha."

"No-o!" Naruto declared heatedly. "That sucks! If you can't come up with good ones like Kakashi-sensei, then just stick with your scripted intro!"

"You call that good?"

" _Sensei_!" the blond whined.

"Kakashi, make him stop!" Sasuke countered. But the older man only stared idly up into the sky without a care in the world, likely ignoring their two bickering voices altogether. "Fine," he hissed, and then grudgingly: "With an imperturbable will and courage, fighting for all this is right. Black Ranger, Sasuke Uchiha," he recited in a monotonous voice.

Naruto leaped in front of the two of them. "And together, we are Team Ranger, protecting the world from _evil_!" he cheered, pointing his hand to the sky in triumph. Kakashi blew a _Katon_ behind him for dramatic effect.

Sasuke snorted.

Naruto gave a huff in his direction before turning towards their target. The man was blinking furiously at them, as though he was doubting his eyesight. "Hey, you liked it, right?" Naruto asked.

The enemy nin stared blankly back. What were they, stupid?

Naruto jumped happily. "See, he likes it!" he crooned. "Next we'll get costumes, and it'll be _perfect!_ "

Something in the Uchiha cracked. "No he doesn't like it," the Uchiha snapped furiously. "He thinks we're idiots now. And no costumes!"

Kakashi sighed. "Now, now kids, let's not fight about this," he chided half-heartedly.

"Ha! Kakashi-sensei likes it too."

"No he doesn't," Sasuke snarled.

"Yeah he does. Why else did he agree with it in the first place?"

"Because otherwise we would've had to spend all day with you whining about it over and over again," Sasuke said.

The blond pouted. "That's not true. Kakashi-sensei, tell him it's not true."

"But it is," the Jounin deadpanned.

"I told you it was stupid, but no one around here listens to me anymore," the Uchiha grumbled under his breath. "It's not like I didn't come back after defecting or anything.

"Hey, just who was it who dragged your sorry-ass back?" Naruto snapped. "Huh? Huh?"

"At least I came back," Sasuke retorted, glowering at him. "I was tempted to leave once more when you tried to force the name 'Team Reject' onto us."

Naruto couldn't hold back a whine. "But it fits!"

"I'm not going to give people permission to call me a reject for the rest of my life."

"But just think about it." Naruto waved his hands over his head, and hopped towards the enemy nin standing nervously in front of them. "I am Naruto," he boomed, "Hated by villagers since birth, but a never bending will persevered all."

He jumped towards his left, and spoke in a lower octave, possibly trying to mimic Sasuke's voice. "Love by many once ago, but defected for the enemy, and then defected back, I am Sasuke."

Again, the blond lept towards the side, this time towards the far right. "And last but not least, I am Kakashi!" he cried, changing his voice once more, "No one likes me 'cause I read porn all day."

He jumped back to the center. "And together, we are the rejects of Konoha, Team Reject!" The blond grinned happily at them, before directing his attention to the enemy. "So? So?"

The man blink, mind far too blank for him to even try to attempt to say anything intelligent back at the boy. Kakashi almost felt sorry for the nin.

"We don't need to introduce ourselves to the enemy," Sasuke snapped, "Or give them our life story."

The blond shrugged, "And that's why I proposed 'Team Orphans' next!" Naruto defended. "Then no one needs to ask why we're named that, 'cause it's obvious." He turned towards their target shinobi. "But hearing us say: 'We are Team Orphans' sounds so boring, right?"

The enemy nin looked flustered. "Yes…?" he agreed reluctantly.

"I know, right?" Naruto nodded. "You have a good taste in things! So I decided to go with Team Ranger next. Good choice, right?"

The guy shrugged helplessly, trying to find a way away from the Konoha-nins without being noticed.

Sasuke glared, his Sharingan eyes threatening to come out into play. "Look, Dobe, it really doesn't matter. Besides, why can't you ask for _my_ opinion instead of some random enemy?" he retorted irascibly. " _I_ could've told you it sucked. Heck, I _did_ tell you it sucked, and you were all like, 'what do you know?'."

"Obviously nothing," the blond bit back. "I mean, come one, he even _looks_ cooler than you!"

"Excuse me?"

"What's with those clothes of yours? At least _he_ dresses properly. I don't want to look at your chest hair all day, Sasuke." Sasuke discretely tried to tie his purple obi tighter. The demon container turned to the enemy nin, "You agree with me, right?"

The man's eyes flickered nervously. "Y-yeah?"

The Uchiha gave a snort. "Oh, sure, take his side just because you know he's easy to fool. Have fun trying to convert him to your side with your lies."

"I don't really care ei-"

Naruto glared. "You were lying to me then?" he cried, cutting the man off, "All this time?"

"What?"

"If you didn't care, that means you were lying when you told me 'yes' both times," Naruto cried. "And I trusted you so much." Chakra swirled around Naruto in anger. And of course, being the powerhouse that he was, it was a _suffocating_ amount of chakra.

"It's not like I _didn't_ like it…" the enemy nin placated, sweating bullets at the sheer power the blond boy emitted. His eyes darted back and forth, more frantically than ever, trying to find an escape route.

It was a shame the enemy nin was in front of Sasuke, because it seemed like he was using him as an outlet for his irritation."See, he _is_ trying to trick you into liking him more so we let him go," Sasuke said with a dark smirk on his lips. "We'd better kill him before he succeeds."

The shinobi gulped nervously. "I mean, I honestly really like it. You know, just my personal opinion, no hidden agenda behind, it or anything," he assured them.

"Ha! I knew it!" Naruto cheered, leering at his childhood-rival.

"Oh," said rival snarled, "I guess there's something wrong with you too?" he stared down the enemy nin. "Only idiots would like something that stupid, and I think we have enough idiots in this world." Not-so-hidden weapons glistened under the sun as Sasuke advanced towards the man.

"W-well, yo-you know, I really didn't like it _that_ much, now that I think about it," the man rushed out.

Sasuke stopped, turning back to Naruto. His onyx black eyes flashed with victory.

Naruto let out a growl, "So you _are_ a liar, then!" A rush of chakra swirled and crackled in the air around them.

"Well, actually I _did_ –" the ninja started.

"So you _did_ like it?" Sasuke threatened.

"Well, no –"

Naruto let out a scream in frustration. "Why are you agreeing with whatever Sasuke-bastard says? What are you, a Sasuke fan-boy? Like we don't have enough of those annoying squealing girls! Just admit you liked it!" the blond snapped.

"He did not," the Uchiha countered, "So stop forcing him to say he did."

"I'm not forcing him!"

Sasuke ignored his teammate, turning towards the enemy nin, "Well?" he drawled.

"Um…" The enemy shinobi surveyed his routes. On one side was a super chakra-powerhouse of a ninja that he couldn't predict, and on the other was a super crazy, evil Uchiha who seemed to want to kill him either way.

"Well?" Naruto echoed.

"Er-" He couldn't take it anymore. The enemy nin shuffled backwards from the two and ran for it, legs scrambling over fallen leaves. – _or tried to, at least._

"Where do you think you're going?" Kakashi, the almost forgotten third member of the team, asked cheerfully.

Caught by the scruff of his neck, the man gave out a long sigh. "Fine!" He threw up his hands into the air. "Take me! Just please leave me out of those two's problems." He didn't even bother to struggle out of Kakashi's grasp.

"Hmm?"

"Leave me alone," he begged. "I'm come with you quietly if you tell them to leave me alone. I won't even try to escape! I mean, all you guys wanted to do in the first place was capture me, right? Capture me quietly? No bickering? No killing?"

"Maa…" Kakashi tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose so…" the man drawled out.

"Please!"

Kakashi gave a lazy smile. "Well, alright. Come with me." He knocked the man out, tying him up and slinging him across his shoulders in one smooth motion. He was on the trees and heading back towards Konoha not a second later.

Naruto's voice called him back. "Wait, Sensei. We're not done yet. He never answered us..."

"Now, now, Naruto, you've done plenty," Kakashi dismissed, still hopping off.

"But…"

"We're heading back," the Jounin said. He quickened his pace when he sensed the boys following after him. They were still grumbling, but following nevertheless. "You can settle your difference next mission."

The silver-haired man smiled behind his mask. Mission accomplished and he didn't even need to lift a finger. He knew there was a reason why he didn't mind having both Naruto and Sasuke on his team, problem boys or not. Missions were so easy,and he even got fresh entertainment. Who knew C-ranks could be so much fun?

He couldn't wait for the next one.


End file.
